SWEET POP

I write this to myself each and every day, wondering only for a moment if you read any of my letters. It is now a quick nervous line to you hoping that this time you will read my letter but I know you will tear it in pieces.

It seems I need to write them anyway like talking to myself. Who do you talk to now? Who makes you smile or hold you when you cry? God, how I miss your sweetness? Darling I love you so much. I hope you will be happier now with whomever.

You have a right to love and I know you need someone. My heart aches so much at the thought, yet I cannot see myself raising hell. How can I say anything after all this except good luck and I really love you though I have to let you go.

It does make me sad when I sit back and take a look at my life and you are not here to enjoy with me. I have changed and grown up. I have learned about you and myself. Sweetheart life is so much fuller and simpler than money and material things.

My life is full now and yet so empty without you. I love you and it hurts like crazy. Go away leave my mind, please let me go in peace or come back. Ooh God, I wish you would do that, but you would not. I am not angry but hurt.

I wonder if it could have been different if I had not walked out and hurt you like that. We are both paying for old sins now. I still believe that we are both suffering for this lost or are you free of it now? Maybe you do not care anymore.